Memories, always memories.

Sometimes it’s still hard. It shouldn’t, but I’m a person that -I’m not gonna deny it- lives in the past. It’s something I can’t help even if I have tried a lot of times.

From my point of view, I think it’s quite hard not missing a pile of memories you’ve made with someone in such a short period of time. It’s something I don’t find possible.

And, what’s funny about this is that I’m quite sure you don’t miss any of the days we spent together. All the moments we shared. Sometimes I felt you wanted me to hate you and so I tried, but I can’t make my heart feel things it doesn’t want to. I’ve never made myself believing, wanting or loving something that my heart wasn’t going to. Maybe that got me a lot of problems, the thing of trusting more my heart than my mind –even that sometimes I do nothing because of fear-. I don’t really care about that.

I’m not sorry for have loved you that much, for missing you, for have felt lonely when you left.I’m just not.

I used to wait for the day when my heart said to me: “I wish nothing of this happened.” That day hasn’t come yet, and I truly think that if it hasn’t come, it never will. Not now that I can say that everything’s over.

I promise you I won’t love you how I did. Never again. I also promise you that when everything’s gone I’ll still miss you but I won’t ever want or let you back.

Goodbye my almost lover.