Daydreaming.

Sometimes I feel that what keeps me alive is daydreaming (and writing as much time as I can).
I spend all the time imagining things that would be awesome if they'd happen, or just things that could make me feel better for a while. It's like the only way I can keep having hope of my future. Hoping that one day, the sun will shine for me. One day when my life will be just easy. Even if it's just for one single day.
My wounds will be healed, I'll be in peace with myself.
I need that, like my lungs need air, like my heart needs its beating and my veins need the blood.

When everybody sleeps, I'm still awake just to be able to keep dreaming with silly things that keep me... the way I am -stupid, fool but realistic in an almost pessimistic way-, or make me feel fine whilst the dream remains in my mind.
Because when I fall asleep, horrible nightmares spend the night chasing me. Every damn night.

That's why I don't sleep a lot of nights, to have that something that keeps me alive.

Even if it's just for a little while.